Breaking Stuff

Whenever I'm really angry, I always want to break something. It seems pretty natural, pretty normal, but now that I think of it I'm not sure why. The only thing that's different before and after I break something is that it's broken. I'm not any stronger and I haven't gained anything. I have one less thing. I broke it. I'm thinking about it, and I think it's because it proves to me how angry I am. I was so angry I broke a pencil and I was so angry I broke my wall are two different things. That tells me how angry I am. That way I'm not confused anymore, and whether or not I had a good reason to be angry, I know that I really was angry. I proved it, I mean, look at my broken pencil and you can see for yourself. What I'm getting at is I think that's one of the reasons I write. I'm not confused anymore. When I'm done, I get this weird sense of clarity. Whatever I was feeling is on the paper and whatever is on the paper is what I was feeling. If I was feeling any different, I would have written something different.