Improvin'

When we did improv at the community center this week, I actually had a lot of fun. Compared to last year, I felt so much more willing to really get into it, and I noticed it's actually a lot less embarrassing to just let yourself go and be stupid than to awkwardly hold back. It's also a lot more fun.
Last year, we had a talk about our artistic jealousies. I'm incredibly jealous of people who can really lose themselves in art. When we were asked which of us surprised ourselves while we were using our bodies and which of us stopped thinking so much about what we were doing and just did it, I couldn't say it was me. I've never been able to get out of my own head. This goes for both viewing art and making my own. I've never lost myself in a really good song I'm hearing or a really good movie I'm watching. I could never relate to people who tell me something "blew their mind" because something has to kind of engulf you before it can really affect you, and as much as I wish I could, I just can't get engulfed in things. The same goes for my writing. Never have I reached a state of mind where I could let thoughts "flow" onto a page and go back and find things I didn't remember writing or thinking. I'm always in my head.